If you're an ENFJ, you spot what somebody is capable of and start rearranging things to get them there, usually before they've asked you to. Scripture takes that seriously enough to build the survival of the whole church on it.
Four Generations in One Sentence
Paul is near the end. He writes to Timothy, the younger leader he has been developing for years, and gives him the instruction the church has been running on ever since.
"You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others" (2 Timothy 2:1-2).
Count the links in that chain. Paul says it. Timothy hears it. Timothy entrusts it to reliable people. Those people teach others. Four generations of handover in a single sentence, and Paul is only present for the first one.
That is what developing people looks like when it's done properly. Not a following. A chain that keeps going after you are out of it.
Give It Away on Purpose
So aim your instinct at handover rather than at helping. There is a difference and it's the whole ballgame.
Helping keeps the person coming back to you. Handover ends with them not needing you. You will feel the second one as a loss, even when you know it's the goal, because being needed is pleasant and you're good at it.
Notice Paul's filter, too. He says entrust it to reliable people. Not the most gifted, not the most enthusiastic, not the ones who remind you of yourself. Reliable. You will be tempted by potential, since spotting it is what you do, and reliability is the thing that actually carries the load.
So pick two people this year. Teach them what you know well enough that they could teach it. Then let them.
Carrying What Isn't Yours
Here is the cost of this wiring, and it usually shows up as tiredness you can't account for.
You take responsibility for how other people are doing. When somebody in your group is struggling, you feel it as a job. When a friendship in the church goes wrong, you start managing it. And because you're perceptive, you're often right about what would help, which makes it very hard to leave alone.
Paul's letter is worth reading here for what it doesn't do. He does not tell Timothy he'll fix things for him. He tells him to be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, gives him the instruction, and hands the work over. Then he writes from prison while Timothy does it without him.
There is a line between caring for somebody and carrying them, and you cross it without noticing. The test: are you doing something for this person that they could do, or that God is asking them to do? If so, stop, and tell them you're available instead.
Somebody Has to Ask You
One more thing, and it's the one people like you almost never arrange.
You're the person others come to. That means the flow of care in your life mostly runs outward, and it can run outward for years without anybody checking on you. You won't ask, partly because you don't want to be a burden and partly because you're not used to being on that side of the conversation.
Paul had people. He asks Timothy to come, and to bring Mark, and to bring the cloak he left behind. A man who spent his life developing others still wrote asking for company and a coat.
Ask somebody to ask you how you're doing, and answer honestly when they do.
The same applies to being taught. You're usually the one explaining, so it can be years since anybody discipled you. Find somebody further along than you are and put yourself under them for a season. It will feel like going backwards and it is the only way the well gets refilled.
Who Else Built People
Scripture doesn't sort anybody into four letters, so nobody in it is an ENFJ. It does keep showing you people whose main work was other people.
Paul builds Timothy and tells him to build others. Barnabas gets Saul into the room in Jerusalem and gives Mark a second chance. Jethro sees his son-in-law burning out and redesigns his whole system for him. And Moses lays hands on Joshua and tells him in front of the whole nation that the Lord goes ahead of him, which is a handover done in public on purpose.
Two People, One Year
Two people, one year. Pick them, teach them what you know well enough that they could teach it, and then hand them something real and stay out of it. Take one situation you've been managing and give it back to the person it belongs to. Ask somebody to check on you. And read 2 Timothy in one sitting, watching how a man in prison spends his last letter making sure the work outlives him.
Paul didn't tell Timothy to hold on to it. He told him to hand it on.